did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
