I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
