We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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