just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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