We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
