last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
