I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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