Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize