Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize