Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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