this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
