Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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