Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's always time for handjobs
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
