New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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