So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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