im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
