with your own penis?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
