1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
