There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize