Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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