At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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