it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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