Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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