I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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