he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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