I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
