Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
