Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
