so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
