You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
