i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
