I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
