I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize