you would pick up someone in the library
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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