Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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