can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize