That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
