Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
