so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
