you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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