so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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