He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize