you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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