I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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