so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
