Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
