you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
