he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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