Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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