The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
