id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
