Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
