There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
