I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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