Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
