I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
