Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
