I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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