my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
