no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
