Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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