let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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