Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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