When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
