Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
